Next To Me

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We'll drown in small talk

I'll pretend you weren't mine the night before

Blow off plans

Like you can't read me

Like I wasn't wanting more

I think I wanted more

Swallow my guilt till I

Am curled up in a ball and nauseous

Cause I don't wanna face that that was probably my subconscious mind

Does that mean it's right

And maybe it wouldn't be like this

If you weren't next to me

Gnawing at my wrists

Clawing at my brain

When I'm asleep and out of it

Maybe I'm the killer

Or maybe just your bitch

Recounting every interaction

Like it changes things

The times you grazed my arm don't just feel like nothing anymore

God I'm such a bore

Is it worse we weren't in bed

I held your hand and promised

That I loved you and I still do if we're being honest

Will I ever be honest

And maybe it wouldn't be like this

If u weren't next to me

Gnawing at my wrists

Clawing at my brain

When I'm asleep and out of it

Maybe I'm the killer

Or maybe just your bitch

And I don't have you

But I want you

And I don't know you

But I want to

See you clearer than you were then

In the back of my head

And maybe it wouldn't be like this

If you weren't next to me

Gnawing at my wrists

Clawing at my brain

When I'm awake and out of it

Maybe I'm the killer

Or maybe just your bitch