Rasa Tak Tersampaikan

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I walked through the door with you.

The air was cold, but something about it felt like home somehow.

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house, and you've still got it in your drawer even now.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide eyed gaze.

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate.

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place.

And I can picture it after all these days.

And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more.

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all. Oh.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street.

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me.

Wind in my hair, I was there. I remember it all too well.

Photo album on the counter. Your cheeks were turning red.

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed.

And your mother's telling stories about you on the T-ball team.

You told me about your past, thinking your future was me.

And you were tossing me the car keys. Fuck the patriarchy. Key chain on the ground.

We were always skipping town.

And I was thinking on the drive down, "Any time now, he's gonna say it's love.

" You never called it what it was.

'Til we were dead and gone and buried.

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same after three months in the grave.

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you, but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame.

And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do.

And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light.

Down the stairs, I was there. I remember it all too well.

And there we are again when nobody had to know.

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath.

Sacred prayer and we'd swear to remember it all too well.

Yeah.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation. Maybe I asked for too much.

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there.

I remember it all too well.

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise.

So casually cruel in the name of being honest.

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'cause I remember it all, all, all.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double cross my mind.

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine.

And that made me want to die. The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never needy, ever lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you.

Not weeping in a party bathroom. Some actress asking me what happened. You.

That's what happened. You.

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes.

Sipping coffee like you're on a late night show.

But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come.

And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one.

" flights like I'm paralyzed by it.

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it.

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own. Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me.

You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah.

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so.

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known.

It was rare, I was there. I remember it all too well.

Wind in my hair, you were there. You remember it all.

Down the stairs, you were there. You remember it all. It was rare, I was there.

I remember it all too well.

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punchline goes, "I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age.

" From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones, I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight. And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

'Cause in this city's barren cold, I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell.

I remember it all too well.

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us, I remember it all too well. Just between us.

Down the stairs, I was there,

I was there. Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred friend, I was there,

I was there. It was rare, you remember it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there.

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred friend, I was there, I was there.

It was rare, you remember it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there.

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there.

Sacred friend, I was there, I was there.

It was rare, you remember it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there.

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there.

Sacred friend, I was there, I was there.

It was rare, you remember it.